I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
