i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
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