you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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