I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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