Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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