i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
