Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
