to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Randomize
