I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
