This is not my ceiling
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
