Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
