Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
