Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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