you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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