just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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