how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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