I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
