you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
