I bet he comes in French.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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