We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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