please come you make the beer taste better
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
