I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
