Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
