you guys were way drunker than both of me
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
