so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
