I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
