wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
