Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
