Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
When are your genitals available?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
