Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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