you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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