smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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