My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
