garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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