This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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