Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
