she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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