I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
