the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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