He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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