I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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