i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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