We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
