i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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