I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If I die, sorry about rent.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
