I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
