yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
