So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
