Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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