i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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