A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
