Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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