Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
