; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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