we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Randomize
