He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
