CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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